Musings by Moss Aliens!

Scientific Discovery in New Lenox…Aliens are landing here and stealing our Remote Controls!   It is a scientific phenomenon not completely grasped by the public. The evidence for aliens has been researched for many years and we can almost bet on them being a part of our universe. Why is this important to all of us in New Lenox? I’m pretty sure there are aliens magically making my television remote control disappear on a regular basis. After several research projects involving millions and millions of dollars I have discovered that no matter where I leave the controller in my house, the aliens will sneak into my house, grab my TV remote and take it off to another galaxy far away. They must be delivering it to a parallel universe to a guy who looks exactly like me (poor guy) and for a short time he has the remote. When he walks away from the TV, the aliens again do their evil work, grab the remote and through the magic of space travel, drop it down into my living room in a completely different place. When I find it, I am confused by its whereabouts.  I know I didn’t leave it on the shelving unit, but there it is! In the mean time the guy who looks like me in the other galaxy is searching frantically for the remote he is sure he left on the arm of the recliner. (I’m positive that all galaxies are blessed with recliners)  At the same time I am enjoying said remote control to watch one of my favorite programs. I did finally get a glimpse of the aliens and it turns out they disguise themselves very cleverly. They appear as exact replicas of my children down to the clothing and haircuts. They are sneaky, and sometimes wait till I doze off to change the channel from a great show like “House” or something on the history channel to “ICarly”. The show ICarly is an alien torture device banned in all other galaxies but ours by the “Geneva convention of outer galaxies.” For some reason, our galaxy was on vacation when the vote was taken. These “aliens” also fight amongst themselves during the morning programs. The male aliens wish to watch ESPN and the small female alien wants to watch Nickelodeon. They sometimes hide the remote on each other trying to start a conflict between alien factions and disrupting the natural balance of the universe. The guy who looks like me in the parallel universe is also experiencing the same kind of difficulties. After further surveillance, I have also discovered that these same aliens are also taking lunch money out of my pockets without my knowledge, run the cars out of gas, and here’s my favorite…eating the food in the pantry and leaving behind the empty boxes. The aliens may not stop with remote controls, money and food. They have been known to enroll in college and secretly have the dean of finance send you the bill. I’ve got to go now. I’m wrapping tin foil around my head in hopes of jamming the alien radar.