So yesterday I walked out to my above ground pool to take a nice refreshing swim and hopefully not scare the neighbors because I had my shirt off. In the middle of the pool was a dead Male Robin floating legs up. This quickly stopped my plans for a forward 2 and a half somersault pike with a twist into the pool.
After fishing out the bird with the skimmer I looked for a suicide note strapped to his little leg. I should warn you, it was a heart wrenching note. It said:
To my beautiful Orange Breasted wife Monica,
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I must leave this world because of your blatant disregard for our marriage vows and the fact that the eggs in the nest are obviously NOT MINE. You are a tramp and I can't take it anymore. I am going to climb to a height of 3000 feet and dive bomb into the Moss's pool, ending it all.
You are not completely to blame. I should have spent more time with you and less time at the office. I tried to support our family as best as I could, but now I realize the two story nest with a three car garage wasn't enough. I should have been home more. Please give all my possessions to Goodwill, especially my feather pillow.
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I hope to see you in birdie heaven, and hopefully you'll be over your "Bad Girl" phase. Tell the chickadee's I love them, and will miss them.
Yours truly (You vixen)
Harry.
Such a sad story. Now you see that birds have serious problems too. And even more amazing, they can write a heartfelt letter with their little wings.
An autopsy was not preformed as per Mr. Robin's request, and he was flung ever so gently into the woods behind my house. His spirit soaring away reaching the heavens. He will be missed.
Man I got to get off the Vicodin. It's really starting to effect my brain.
