I like to think of myself as someone whose rather laid back. I don't like to get too worked up over things that are beyond my control, especially if it's something so very trivial. What's the use in fuming about something you have no control over? And if it's something you can do something about, then why waste your time fuming when you can go and actually do that one thing?!
That being said, I am human. There are a few things that will easily set me off. So if you've ever wanted to see me angry and screaming, then here's a list of 9 things that will get me going on tangents and expletive-fueled rants about the said topic.
1) Kristen Wiig actually being considered funny on SNL. I have gotten a lot of crap for this opinion, surprisingly. I see Kristen Wiig on SNL and I really just...I don't get it. What is so funny about her?! Am I missing something or did my funny bone somehow go missing?! I can't be the only one who just sees the same old thing every time. Every time Kristen Wiig is out there, it's the same character over and over and over again. Then she seems to have this way of hogging the spotlight all the time too, which is frustrating because there are some talented individuals in the cast whom aren't getting the same exposure. Plus, it feels like the sketches come to a complete screeching halt whenever she is on. I have no idea how much drugs Lorne Michaels did in the 1970s, but I'm thinking it's a lot considering he's actually said he thinks that she's one of the top three or four cast members of all time. Just reading that alone set me off. It's not only an insult to some of the greats on the show, but also to some of the more talented women on the show whom I think were far better than she was. And I know at least on Patch, I'm not alone in this opinion.
Speaking of SNL, here's thing No. 2:
2) Anybody badmouthing Phil Hartman. Thankfully, nobody has dared to try this with me. Phil Hartman is, in my own opinion, the greatest SNL cast member there ever was. He was so full of talent and was just a splendor to watch whether he was on SNL, The Simpsons, Newsradio or any of the hundreds of 1990s kids cartoon shows he lent his voice to. (Look it up on IMDB... I think he's done a voiceover stint on every single cartoon I watched as a kid.) He was versatile and able to make even the most mundane lines or roles and turn them into pure hilarity. I still crack up thinking of The Anal Retentive Chef or him as Frank Sinatra, both SNL skits. I could go on and on, but I'm going to save that for a rainy day. So why did I put this on when it seems like most people agree with me about him? Well, I just like to warn people and I wanted an excuse to ramble on about Phil Hartman. Not gonna lie.
3) Pointless dog deaths in horror movies. I've never been one for horror movies and this is a huge reason why. It seems like in almost ever horror movie, if there's a dog in it, it gets killed. That really bothers me. Wes Craven, who I suspect is a cat person, seems to LOVE to do this. I mean, you can prove it any other way that things just got real, no need to kill off a dog. Either let the dog live through the movie or don't even put one in. Actually, this probably should apply to any movie in general. I got so mad at the second Jurassic Park with the implication of the dog being eaten by the T-Rex that I refused to watch the rest of it. And Jaws was forever ruined for me because of the implied dog death. Come on, spare the dogs, dammit! My emotions would really appreciate it.
4) When animation is dismissed as being for "kids only." For some reason in the U.S., animation has gotten the stigma of being only for kids. Apparently because it's drawn and looks cutesy, then it should be for kids, right? Wrong. You see, in other cultures, especially Japan, animation is thought of more as a medium rather than a genre. Yes, boys and girls, animation is a medium to tell your story. And with the right script and the right artists, it can be an effective one. Pixar has seemed to get the message and even Disney has with Fantasia. And if it's not known as being kid's stuff, then it's known for adult-humor comedy. Look, I am not knocking The Simpsons or Family Guy in this respect. Those are fine shows (even if The Simpsons has been downhill for a while and Family Guy lost its luster for me when it started to lose the Rhode Island-themed jokes), but they're not necessarily well animated. It's actually why I like anime quite a bit – they use it as a medium to tell stories that aren't just targeted for children but also for adults. And honestly, I dunno if there's a more powerful anti-war movie than Grave of the Fireflies or more compelling documentary than Waltz with Bashir. Plus, Pixar is amazing at using animation to its whims to weave stories with so much meaning and so much entertainment. I just wish that the general public would get the message soon. Maybe, this way, we won't have any 8-year-old accidentally getting South Park for Christmas or something to that ilk.
5) When people feel sorry for themselves. If I see anybody just wallowing around in their own self-pity and feeling sorry for themselves, I just lose my patience. Maybe it's not the most sensitive thing to do, but I can't help it. I just hate when I see people doing this. Stop complaining and do something about it! I had a few friends who would be like this when I was younger. They'd all whine and whine about how things weren't going their way and how their life so soooo horrible because they couldn't go out past 9 p.m. or something like that. I'm always thinking, “Dude, shut up! Just be happy with what you got, okay?!” Perhaps I'm naive, which I've been accused of many times, and maybe I'm kind of an idiot too. That being said, I never like to wallow in my own self pity... I'd rather just go out and do something about it. Even if it's just me keeping my mind off things. It's better than being a killjoy to myself.
6) The theory that ADHD doesn't exist. Oh dear god where do I begin with this one? I've talked about this before, but I just have to address this portion of that article again. As someone who has ADHD, I get fuming when I hear people saying that it's just them being lazy, stupid or just some big conspiracy from the pharmaceutical companies. Now while I love a good conspiracy theory, that's not one I necessarily will buy into. Let me put it this way with ADHD – do you THINK I want to annoy you because I don't remember what you had just said?! Do you THINK I wanted to do poorly in school?! I couldn't concentrate. I wanted to do well in school and I tried to study over and over again. And quite honestly, I couldn't do it. I was also overlooked because I wasn't overtly hyperactive like other children were. I was more looking out the window and doodling. And on top of that, don't also go knocking the medication. My Adderall has helped me a lot get through the past eight years or so with a clear head. The noise isn't 100 percent gone, but I can at least retain some information. You try to argue this with me, I will not be happy.
7) Attributing the wrong artist for a song/getting the song name wrong. This is one of those things that goes right through me. You'd be amazed at how many times I've gone onto YouTube to look up a song and seeing someone either calling it the wrong name or thinking it's from an artist whom it's not from. Let's just get this straight – not all Motown / soul music was done by The Temptations, Aretha Franklin and Marvin Gaye. I mean if you're going to like a song, at least get the artist right. And the song title on top of that. I cut some slack if it's the subtitle of the song, but only with a few songs. Now for the more iconic stuff ("Baba O'Riley" – The Who, which everybody thinks is called "Teenage Wasteland"), that's a whole other story. Just get the artist and the song name right. In this generation of Google, it's far easier than one could ever imagine!
8) Baseball Hipsters / Pink Hats. I have two different types of baseball fans here that really anger me. First off are the Pink Hats. These are the fans that are only there for the beer or (in a woman's case) to ogle ballplayers. I give some kind of free pass for newer fans who just want to learn the game more. They're at least trying. These are the ones who won't even willingly listen to someone when they drunkenly yell out about how Player X sucks because he took over for the dreamy player or whatever. And on the other side of the coin, you have the baseball hipsters. These are the snobby fans who treat any newer fan like crap because they dare not know that Player Y had a 0.01 WHIP in his first start with the 1955 Red Sox or some other super obscure fact. They're also the ones who complain when their team is doing well because of the bandwagoners and then pout about how they liked them before they were cool. Your team is doing well – that's the point of baseball. Just enjoy it and stop acting like a jerk. Besides, weren't you once one of those newer fans who was trying to learn the game at one point and didn't you likely latch onto the team when they were doing well? If not, then that's cool but don't take it out on the newer fans who really want to be fans.
9) Assumptions. I have made it known that I hate when people assume things about anybody or anything. I'm not perfect when it comes to this, but I really hate it when people assume. As they said on The Odd Couple, when you assume you make "an ass out of u and me." Like, for example, when I was in high school, my friends would go out and never invite me. I was always a little upset about it. Then one of my friend's flat out said that she assumed I'd say no because I did one other time. Just because I said no that one time doesn't mean that I was going to say no again. I mean, just ask to be courteous, is that so much to ask? Then there's the whole baseball fandom that I have. Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I like baseball. No, it's not because "ZOMG JACOBY ELLSBURY IS SOOO DREAMY!!!", it's because I like to watch the game and I like the unexpected and what is more unexpected than baseball? It's just simple things like that.
So why didn't I do 10? Well, honestly, there's nothing else that really makes me angry quite like those nine things I listed. I'm aware that most of these things are silly and very mundane things. I'm only human, it's only natural to have a few things that seem trivial to most people to anger me. So anyways, that's my list. I'll be back next time around with something of more substance.
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